I Didn’t Get The Memo to ‘Be Less White’

2-25-2021

I Didn’t Get The Memo to ‘Be Less White’

I couldn’t resist when Coca-Cola sent the memo to its employees to ‘be less white’. What are they thinking catering to cancel culture? I don’t drink coke products often but when I do I drink the doctor – “Dr Pepper” and now I’ll simply resign my carbonated preference to un-cola products.

But let me go down the road of “be less white” for a moment or longer if need be. How much of the world’s population is white? Well I don’t know either but I’m sure someone can google it and come up with the acceptable answer (it’s probably only a small fraction).

Since I have been white my entire life and the only way I know to be is white without being taught to “act” white like some famous people (actors or politicians) on television or in the movies I guess I first of all must learn to jump so I can prove the myth that white men can’t jump. Next I must learn to dance. If you’d ever seen me try you’d agree that I “ain’t got the moves”. 

In this way of thinking then it must be socially acceptable to apply “black face” like that governor of Virginia did when he was in college, but to tell you the truth – that’s totally ridiculous and unnecessary unless maybe you’re one of those highly famous Hollywood producers who can’t afford to hire a dark skinned actor to play a dark skinned character. In that case it may be in your best interests to leave Hollywood anyway.

There are those in Congress, the media and far leftist groups who are attempting to re-make America in their own image. They want to guilt trip everyone about the ancient practice of slavery as if their ancestors were the only ones sold into slavery. Well news flash African blacks sold other African blacks into slavery because they were of a different tribe. In Europe and throughout the Middle East human trafficking has been going on for thousands of years and most of those people are far from black.

Sorry about digressing but now I must focus on the task at hand. I have to learn to talk less white, so I must learn something I think is called Ebonics. I don’t even know where to start because for me it’s easier to say “my wife” or “my old lady” than to say “my baby momma” or anything I think is disgraceful when it comes to talking about a woman. Not all women mind you, because there are some women who are in themselves disgraceful.

The hardest will be trying to think less white. I mean yes the KKK have used white hoods, sheets and linen as symbols to strike fear into the hearts and minds of men and women. But dark skin when adorned by white clothes is not by itself fearful. In fact less white skinned people wear bright colors very well. I personally wouldn’t look good in stop-sign red or bright orange clothing. But I’m sure nobody would ever forget seeing me try to jump, dance or to the boogaloo in broad daylight or at night in bright clothing.

So I have to say sorry Cancel Culture and Coca Cola for that matter I’m happy just being the best me that I can be. In fact God created me and only I can do what he created me to do. So don’t expect me to do the bootie bump, the wrist, arm, elbow and thumb wrestle as a greeting sign. Don’t expect me to holler at you from across the room or talk to you on the phone in the men’s room while taking a dump either.  

When we meet and say “Hay” or “Hi” or even just “Hello” let that suffice and don’t try to tell me what kind of a day to have. I’ll take each one as it comes. – I am the Real Truckmaster!

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